Agnosis, His Student, and The Slut

One of the things that keeps me going through this program is the complete lack of professionalism that leads to scandal and salacious gossip. Take, for example, the current situation we have with Agnosis, one of our professors, and OC, his graduate student and my good friend. Oh yes, and the slut that has come between them. Pun intended.

OC is a young hottie who has no clue that he's hot. I've tried many times to make him realize it, but he just doesn't get it. A bigger problem with him is that he falls in love with every dopey whore he meets and he wears his heart on his sleeve. He's like a girl meaning that if he has sex with someone, he gets way too emotionally invested and it always backfires on him. His latest burn has come from an undergraduate research assistant in Agnosis' lab who, it turns out, has been shagging both OC and Agnosis. OC found out and is devastated.

But that's not the scandal, is it? No. The scandal is that Agnosis, a professor, is having sex with one of his undergraduate students and he actively pursued The Slut once he found out that OC was interested in her. This is deeply disturbing behavior on so many levels.

To top it off, OC has behaved like a whiny, clingy, neurotic little bitch. He all but broke down and cried to The Slut about the whole situation. She, of course, denied that there was anything going on between her and Agnosis but that wasn't good enough for OC. His instincts told him differently so he cried foul to everyone who would listen. This has resulted in Agnosis finding out and freaking out about OC lighting the match and then fanning the flame. Although Agnosis' behavior does not bode well for his own career, he is the one in a position of power and this could cause major problems for OC in our program.

And for what? An average-looking, trashy wench who could care less about anything but mounting her next conquest (pun intended, again).

OC looks like a Greek God but is entirely too soft. Knowing this has caused me to hold back from giving him some seriously tough love but it may be time. I may have to sit him down and tell him that women just don't like men who are too fragile, emotionally speaking so he needs to stop acting like a bitch.

The Office

As I mentioned previously, Prof Predator has set up office space for his graduate students. We share a room; each of us has our own desk space complete with brand new computers. It's actually very nice to have a work space but it has turned out to be a major burden as well.

First, one of the grad students likes to be friends with all of our undergraduate research assistants and she has them hanging around constantly. And by hanging around, I mean using my desk and computer to access Facebook and whatever else. Of course, I'm the resident bitch so whenever I walk into the office, I say immediately, "Get your fat ass out of my chair." It's gotten to the point now where I don't even have to say anything. They flee when they see me coming.

Today this is going to change. I am going to start unplugging the Ethernet cable and taking it with me so that they have no Internet access from my computer. Is this childish? Hell, yes it is! But it will send a clear and direct message that I so don't want them using my desk and computer that I'm willing to go to great lengths to ensure that they can't. Problem solved.

The second thing that makes that office impossible to work in is that Predator needs constant entertainment from us. He's bored and has nothing to do so he is constantly hanging around that office for hours at a time, talking about any nonsense that comes into his head.

There are other little annoyances, too, but I expect some things to be aggravating. It's hard for four of us to be all cramped into a small office.

I just have to take a deep breath and remember that it's all only temporary. Eventually, I will graduate. I hope.

Professor Predator and His Precious

The background on Professor Predator is here. Basically, he should not have been hired but the fact is that he was and, in true Jericha fashion, I am doing my best to make it work to my advantage. For the most part, it's been pretty good but too much of something is not always a positive.

On the up side, Predator has taken on four grad students to work on his research and he got us some much coveted office/lab space that no other students in our program have. The four of us each has his/her own desk and he got all of us brand new computers. Predator is fantastic in that if we need something for the lab he goes out and buys it. I really appreciate that about him. However, there are many down sides, too.

The first negative is that he expects us to be at our desks all day every single day. The dilemma is that three of us have other assistantship duties. We don't work for him. He is our advisor and we work on research in his lab but our financial support comes from other assigned duties. Only one of the students, a brand new grad student who did her undergrad work at our university, works for Predator. I call her Precious and she is a trouble-making, no-class-having, no-brains-having loser who Predator desperately wants to make his very own love slave.

It's a nightmare to listen to the conversations between the two of them and it's impossible to get any work done in the office when Precious is in. This is because Predator hangs out in our office whenever she's there. Predator has no life so we've become his "entertainment" and his obsession with Precious causes him to waste hours and hours sitting in our office talking nonsense about every mundane subject he can think of.

Precious claims she can't stand it, but the fact is that she loves it. Don't get me wrong. I really don't think that she'd have anything to do with him sexually speaking. He's grotesque. Nevertheless, she knows that he's into her so she gets him to do her work for her and he does it. He barely answers class/research related questions for the rest of us because he thinks it's important that we find the answers on our own. Fine. I'll learn it better that way anyway. Shouldn't he expect the same from Precious?

The problem is that Precious does not belong in a doctoral program. Predator pulled major strings to get her in. Her GRE scores were dismal (never broke 1000) and her grades weren't so hot either. Now she's having breakdowns regularly because she can't keep up with the most basic readings and coursework.

If she hadn't tried to screw me over twice so far, I'd feel sorry for her. The truth is, I revel in her failures and frustrations and have committed myself to aiding her demise in any way that I can.

But I always do it with a smile.

The New Cast of Characters

We got a new crop of graduate students this past August and to be really honest, they're all quite boring. The bunch last year all had some "color" about their personalities and backgrounds. There was Jailhouse Jenny who had been incarcerated but she didn't last very long in the program. She didn't go back to jail; she went to another program at our university. It is much better suited for her academic interests so I'm happy for her.

Another colorful character admitted last year was Cocaine Cowboy. He's still around, apparently still enjoying white lines, and as whacked out as ever. He, too, has been in serious legal trouble and my prediction is that it's just a matter of time until he again sees the inside of a penitentiary. Cocaine Cowboy is a smart guy in terms of scholarly pursuits, but not so much in real life stuff.

The other two, Asperger Alan and Jabbalita, are still around, too. However, I hardly ever see them these days so there isn't anything interesting to report just now. I think their names speak volumes about who they are as people, though.

She's Back!

I haven't been here in a while. After Spring semester ended, I got very busy proposing my thesis and traveling this summer. Then, before I knew it, Fall semester had begun, I started collecting my thesis data, and neglected this very important space for far too long. All of that is over now. I'm back.

Here's the first update to bring you up to speed:

*Wisteria: She left the program at the end of Spring semester as planned and moved back home with her parents. The final semester was very tough for her. You see, Wisteria lacks mental stability and she really began to implode right before our very eyes. During spring break last March, she got arrested for public urination and some other misdemeanors. This was just a couple of weeks after she announced that she'd be leaving our program.

Of course, all interest in her coursework and grades went out the window, too. Interestingly, though, she still believed that she was academically more talented than the rest of us. Very bizarre that she thought this, too, because throughout the two years she was in the program, everyone in our cohort always got better grades than she.

Anyway, she had a meltdown in the midst of a final presentation in one of our classes. The professor was asking her questions about her paper. The questions were something along the lines of "your paper sounds nearly identical to the published paper we read for class just two weeks ago, what's different about yours?" Basically, Wisteria plagiarized rather blatantly, and when called out about it, she made a scene in the class.

It's so funny to watch how others react in situations like that. Everyone pretended that they didn't notice she was shaking, crying, and other histrionics. Wisteria desperately wanted attention and we all desperately wanted to pretend nothing uncomfortable was happening. It was fantastic!

At the end of the class, the prof left the room and Wisteria lashed out at all six of us. I, being the big mouth of the group, told her to back the f--- off and get real since her crappy project was not a great copy of the original she plagiarized.

The semester ended a week later, she packed her things and left uneventfully. Or so I thought...

More on that later.

Who the F*** Are You Calling "Old School?'

The nerve of that old, gray-haired, dried-up sow to refer to one of my ideas as "old school!" I put her in her place, though, in front of several hundred people.

Me: "I think the reading was interesting, however, the definition of the main idea was a bit misleading. It isn't an intentional behavior. Research has demonstrated that it actually happens unconsciously."

The Aged Sow: (dripping with venom) "Actually it is the result of many different factors and may be intentional. Your assertion is old school thinking."

Me: (dripping in more venom with a Cheshire cat grin) "Well, I'll have to take your word on the "old school" aspect. After all, you would know more about that than I since I'm a mere babe compared to you (big smile with a wink). However, I do tend to trust information gleaned from peer-reviewed sources rather than those online tabloid mags like you cited."

SMACK! Take that, bitch. Who the fuck are you calling "old?" Poor thing, she was so embarrassed that she had nothing left to say.

Moral of the story: When you are visibly much older than the woman you wish to "put in her place," you should avoid leveling insults that reference the young vixen's age. Especially when time has not been kind to your appearance, you old tart!

Hate when hags don't see themselves clearly. It pisses me off!

An Angel In Waiting

On Saturday, I adopted an angel who needed a good home. Driving two hours there and two hours back was so worth it to have the privilege of "rescuing" this gorgeous little Doberman girl. Although, truth be told, I'm the one who is being rescued by her unconditional love and innocent exuberance as she runs around her new huge yard. She is so happy and it reminds me that even the smallest things that I take for granted might make a big difference to someone else. It's truly humbling.

Okay. Off to bed now to cuddle with the new baby (and Husband and my other sweet babies, too). We are truly blessed.

If you decide to get a pet, adopt one from a local shelter. You are saving two lives: theirs and yours. (I am borrowing that saying from someone. I'd cite the source but I can't remember who it is...it's a rescue group).